Friendship

Playing on the monkey bars

It seemed so simple

Now almost adults 

It seems lost

Friendship. It seems so simple, but it doesn’t come so easily. While people can make friends instantly over the internet, many of us are still struggling with friendship. We hide our deepest insecurities from those we call our “best friends.” We continue befriending those who talk behind our backs, those that deserve our attention. Why? While the human conscience has grown increasingly robust and moral standards are constantly being risen, it seems as though we’ve grown soft. What good are friends that we can’t be 100% honest with? 

Friendship, defined by the American Psychological Association, is “a voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively long-lasting and in which those involved tend to be concerned with meeting the others’ needs and interests as well as satisfying their own desires.” Wow, just reading that, I felt shivers. I cringed internally at how far removed this definition may seem from us. The key words here are “voluntary,” “long-lasting,” and “other’s needs and interests.” Many of us feel forced to keep up with friends just because we’re afraid to cause conflict. More than anything, friendships are made to be pure relationships, and oftentimes, your internal motivations can bleed through no matter how hard you try to avoid them. 

Friends, ultimately, are the first people we form relationships with beyond our parents. As the amazing Phoebe from the hit sitcom Friends once said – “Boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go, but [friends] are for life.” We desperately need to work our way back towards choosing our friends wisely, breaking free of toxic ones, and becoming better friends ourselves. People often find the very issues they have reflected in others. If you really want to have good friends, be the friend you would want to have. I can promise you, good friends will come your way.